This quote, suggested as a motto for setting the atmosphere for effective feedback by the authors of What Did You Say? The Art of Giving and Receiving Feedback, has stayed with me:

Our work is too important to take seriously.

How can this be? Surely we should take our work as seriously as the importance we attach to it?

The importance of good humour

Clearly the authors anticipated the concept of psychological safety (though at the time this book was first published I believe the concept, while known, was yet to be popularised in management theory).

As Amy Edmondson observes in Right Kind of Wrong: The Science of Failing Well:

In the most successful teams in my research, people, especially team leaders … are honest and good-humored about mistakes, which nurtures the psychological safety you need for people to speak up quickly about them.

She continues:

Another best practice is acknowledging your own contributions — no matter how large or small — to the failures that do occur.

As Edmondson explains, this makes it easier for others to do the same, making diagnosis of failures easier. Those who do so will also be seen as approachable and trustworthy.

Two rules of thumb

So while it’s possible to write a lengthy essay on the theories of accountability and psychological safety, it may not be necessary to read it. Instead, you could just keep these two simple rules of thumb in mind:

1. Be good humored in the face of failure.
2. Admit your own mistakes first.

Of course, this is easier said than done in the face of typical work stressors: competing priorities, pressure to deliver, too many meetings and interruptions, and so on. But we should be clear about what behaviours we wish to model, and if we fail to live up to our ideals — well, then we should acknowledge our mistakes, and we should do so with good humour!

A corollary for management

A manager who is always serious may be failing at their job.

This doesn’t mean managers should always be telling jokes (that could be terrible for everyone involved) — and it certainly doesn’t mean they should be laughing at you — but it does mean they should be willing to laugh at themselves, and to find grace and humour in the difficult situations (especially failures) which we inevitably find ourselves in.